1 .Macs are for those who don’t want to know why their computer works.Linux is for those who want to know why their computer works.DOS is for those who want to know why their computer doesn’t work.Windows is for those who don’t want to know why their computer doesn’t work.
2 . This is Linux land. In silent nights you can hear the Windows machines rebooting.
3 . Three male programmers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals.The first programmer finishes, walks over to the sink to wash his hands.He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands is dried.Turning to the other two, he says, “At Microsoft, we are trained to be extremely thorough.”The second programmer finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his hands. He uses a single paper towel and makes sure that he dries his hands using every available portion of the paper towel.He turns and says, “At Intel not only are we trained to be extremely thorough but we are also trained to be extremely efficient.”The third programmer finished and walks straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder, “At Sun, we don`t piss on our hands.”
4 . The box said “Requires Windows 95 or better.” I can’t understand why it won’t work on my Linux computer.
5 . Linux, DOS, Windows NT — The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
6 . Three people had carpool: a mechanical engineer, a electrical engineer and a Microsoft programmer. But the car suddenly broke down. Mechanical engineer said: "Hey! It has to be the fuel injection. Lemme fix it." The electrical engineer didn't agree: "It's magneto probably. I'll fix it." Microsoft programmer shoke his head and said: "Hey guys, I have a simpler idea: Let's just close all the windows, get out of the car, then get back into it, and it should run!"
7. There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10m visibility when his instruments went out. So he began circling around looking for landmark. After an hour or so, he starts running pretty low on fuel and the passengers are getting very nervous. Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. The pilot banks the plane around, rolls down the window and shouts to the guy "Hey! Where am I?" To this, the solitary office worker replies "You're in a plane." The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 180 degree turn and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing on the runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out. The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it. "Simple" replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correct but absolutely useless, therefore that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is just a while away."
